DNR!!!

Do not resuscitate!
Don't even call the ambulance!
Seriously!!

If I am supposed to have faith in the Lord's plan... then shouldn't I have faith in the Lord's plan?! Makes sense to me!!

I don't want their drugs, not really wanting the side effects, to counteract the affects of their other decisions already imposed in my life.

They, their, the man, the government, the agencies, whatever & whoever combined to make the decision to poison my food supply and furthermore * x earth it is grown in/from...

Maybe it's not the food you've grown allergic to.... Maybe it's your DNA reacting to everything unnatural it's being bombarded with, from the pasture to the packaging to the Teflon skillet!!!

I don't recall signing up to be a Guinea Pig...

My neighbor friend Bill, approximately 75, stopped over yesterday. He lovingly calls me a hippie tree hugger & I refer to I'm as a crotchety SOB, in the dearest form possible.... He says it's OK now that his Mom passed last year.

I used to enjoy our frequent and belabored visits usually somewhere near my driveway, usually while I was pulling weeds and tending to the yard by hand (and with the old time mower ~no gas nor electric, man powered~ he had remembered from his childhood ) while he tried to convince me to "spray something on it".

What a difference a year can make!! I couldn't get out of bed yesterday ... I miss my old friend & our visits! By the way, I'm 47.

relatedness matters

https://hbdchick.wordpress.com/about-2/

relatedness matters

genealogical terminology
the canonical family tree
mother’s brother’s daughter marriage
fbd marriage – genetic relatedness amongst nuclear family members
coefficients of relationship – cousin marriage – grandparents
all grandmas are not created equal
all cousins are not created equal

4/3/15

Sorry not to have said more over the last few days... But each one is a struggle without relief.  I keep thinking if I could just get one or two things off my plate I could handle all the other things much better. But apparently, the adage of sometimes it gets worse before it can get better... Applies here as well!

The Dilaudid was a lovely addition to the regime but all good things must come to an end. It would be really easy to just try and rely on opiates like so many do... But instead I'll just keep trying to regroup, so to speak.

So, I went to the mailbox yesterday... One of the goals I've been trying to hold myself accountable for each day... Where I found an unmistakable envelope from one of my favorite people,
Thank You!!

She used to compose the best prose but this time she inspired me to offer this advice to someone who walks in my shoes.

My heart goes out to you as I relate to your words. All I can hope for you is...

Don't!

Don't stop believing in yourself & know this too shall pass.

Don't stop trying to find what works for you & discovering relief.

Don't listen to the words of others that feed your fears or discourage your heart.

Don't immerse yourself too deeply in the study of these things that consume you.

Don't let nay sayers sap you of your determination!!

Don't give up on you!

Stay positive as you can possibly muster in the light of it all & best of luck finding your new normal!!